13 March 2008

There Are Neanderthals Among Us

Well, I will take this opportunity to vent. I have been sick for several weeks now which has greatly disrupted my life at work and at home... let's just say that I got some catchin' up to do.

Now, don't lay the pity on me, I'm getting better and am finally on some heavy duty meds.

Actually, the reason for this post is disbelief. Disbelief that there are still neanderthal hot heads living, walking and as I found out tonight, driving amongst us. I know, you are probably as shocked as I was.

OK, so, I'm driving my son back from his first music concert and having a nice chat with him, we're nearly home and enter the dreaded traffic circle near our home. Wait a minute - before I get into it too much further... I should back up a bit, just to qualify that we have lived in this same area for 8 years and the circle is nothing new for us. In fact, it took us a few months to get used to it ourselves and a few honks of the horn in my direction to aid in the learning of the circle. So, when it comes to the traffic circle, I have seen most everything and am prepared for the odd surprise and am at the ready on the brakes.... always.

I should also mention, that I try not to use my horn too much although I have HAD to use it a few times. It's been my experience that in Calgary, anyways, that a horn honked produces a middle finger much the same way that watering a plant produces a flower. It's not only expected, it seems to be natural reflex. Long gone are the days where a driver gets honked at and waves and nods, acknowledging their error... ah, the old days.

Here's the rules (real brief like): in a traffic circle, you always yield to the inside lane (the one to your left)... that's basically it. Also, if you are on the outside lane you should turn at the first exit but it is also acceptable to take the second - the third or fourth is a definite no-no. The inside lane can turn at any exit and the outside traffic must yield to the left. Most problems occur when a person on the outside continues through to the third turn - which happens a lot.

Here's my story:

I go into the traffic circle on the inside (left) lane, there is an SUV in the outside (right) lane at the same pace as me. I become cautious as he misses the first exit - this tells me that he may try to go through to the third exit making me hit the brakes or I will hit him. But, alas, he turns at the second exit as is allowed, we both make the turn, he on the outside and me on the inside - like double turn lane...I breath a sigh of relief... but wait! Now he cuts right in front of me (no turn signal of course - I don't think new cars in Calgary come with these any more) and causes me to hit the brakes - I honk the horn. I don't think much of it, obviously he didn't see me - a honk of the horn surely would alert the driver to my presence and hopefully makes him a bit more aware of the surroundings... and the fact that he nearly caused an accident.

So, I follow this vehicle as I am heading to the drug store... and think that would be the last I see or hear of it. Bygones. I go into the drug store, do my business and go back to my car which is parked on the street. As I am about to pull away, this guy starts walking towards the car - I assume it is the guy I honked at looking for an explanation, so I put down my passenger side window, thinking we will have a discussion... here is what we discussed:

"What's your fucking problem" yells the driver of the SUV (apeman, I call him now).

"Hey, watch your language." says me. - (my 10 year old is sitting at the open window that he is yelling at me through).

"Fuck you, you fucking asshole" yells the apeman.

"Nice language" says me (note that I am not yelling).

"Come out here, I'll fucking knock your head off!" yells the ape man.

"Really nice language in front of my son" says me.

"I'll fucking kick your fucking head in" yells the apeman.

I quickly decide that nothing good is going to come of this and that the conversation is going nowhere, so I slowly pull away.

"Learn how to drive!" I say loudly as I drive off (not yelling).

He keeps yelling but all I can make out is 'phrkak fuckin' phrusak fuck hrmph', his wife that was beside him at first, is now red in the face and keeping her distance from him, as she probably should.

We turn the corner of the drug store and I turn to my son and he laughs and says, "what a hot head - he used the F word in every sentence". I says 'yep, that guy's a total asshole, wants to get into a fight over a horn honk, pretty smart guy, eh?"

He laughs again, he's never seen a grown man act like that. In fact, I can't remember the last time I had either. I explain to my son that not everyone has completely evolved and that you always have to be careful when confronting some people - like this (ape)man... safety first, always. I further explained to him that fighting is no way to settle arguments, especially something as trivial as this.

It's only OK to fight if there's fake evidence of WMD's.

So, that's my rant, true story, verbatim. The story of the modern day neanderthal driving among us.


PS - I will get back to my marketing blog soon... had to get this one off my chest.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so true. There are some really screwed up people out there.

3/13/2008 11:23:00 PM  
Blogger Ryan said...

He's clearly from 10,000 BC.

BC as in 'before cars'.

3/14/2008 10:22:00 AM  

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